Free Range Zoo On The Moon

by Blunderbus

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about

This is a rock opera about building a free range zoo on the moon. I wrote it originally in 2004 & 2005 but finished it in 2013, not because of a Chinese Democracy type bloated mess or a Smile type drug freakout, but out of general laziness. Dig!

credits

released September 15, 2013

All songs by Jim Donaldson.
Recorded on compluter by Jim Donaldson at his apartment from December 2012 to September 2013.
Cover art by Jim Donaldson August 2013.

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Blunderbus Chicago, Illinois

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Track Name: Zoo + Moon = Moon Zoo!
Zoo + Moon = Moon zoo!
Track Name: Free Range Moon Zoo
Got a great idea for a zoo on the moon
It's a free range zoo on the moon
Got to do it now or real real soon
Gotta build that zoo on the moon
Gotta do it now, gotta be there first
Ain't got no time to lose
If we wait to long I fear for the worst
Can't have russian or chinese moon zoos

It's a free range zoo on the moon!

But we can't find animal-shaped space suits
Well the animals can do without them
But there unnecessary so the point is moot
They're resilient so don't you doubt them
So what about the skin-scorching heat of the lunar sunlight
The animals don't need spacesuits
And what about the sub-arctic dark of the lunar night
I said they don't need no spacesuits

It's a free range zoo on the moon!

We'll have a lunar safari where the gravity's weak
There ain't no gravity there to speak
How you suppose the moon and the critters will meet?
They'll wear really heavy boots on their feet!
Got a great idea for a zoo on the moon
It's a free range zoo on the moon
Got to do it now or real real soon
Gotta build that zoo on the moon

It's a free range zoo on the moon!
Track Name: Dog And Pony Show
You're invited to the dog and pony show
Plus all the other animals that you know
In my moon zoo
We're accepting any kind of donation
For hanging in the balance is the fate of the nation
In my moon zoo
What can you do to help the moon zoo?
Everybody knows our lives depend on it
The evil moon will make our lives be ending
If we don't have moon zoos
We invited you to the dog and pony show
To save yourselves and the animals that you know
With my moon zoo
What can you do to help the moon zoo?
Track Name: Beaverwood Spacecraft
We got the backing of a billionaire with a beard and a robe
And he wants to start packing up the animals before the earth explodes
Or maybe it's before the tides all shift and all the building shatter
From the resulting tidal waves but what the fuck, it doesn't matter
From all the animals we need seven clean and seven dirty
Or maybe two of everything, both male and female, but no worries
We'll sort out the details later, it's not my mess
All that matters are the dimensions and materials, just pitch and cypress
300 ancient measure long by 50 wide and 30 tall
And the crew better be real clean, you hear me now, no dirty balls
We'll consult numerology for the length of time it takes to be saved
And lastly if he's drunk, don't look at his junk or we'll make you and all your kids slaves
Track Name: Full Solar Eclipse
Gotta bring that big yellow ball back in the sky

It took away the planet's source of energy
Now we can say that the moon is our enemy
All the other planets are friends with me
Except for maybe Mars and Mercury
It took away that big yellow ball in the sky

Gotta bring together all the astronauts
No time to find out why it happened, ask me not
You want to study the orbits, well here's a thought
You only want to help those who cause the sun to blot
You didn't want that big yellow ball in the sky

Not gonna convert the English to the metric
Time to put down the bong, bitches be eccentric
Gonna transcend the crystal spheres concentric
Then you'll believe that the universe is geocentric
And we'll put that big yellow ball back in the sky
Track Name: Establishing Breeding Pairs In Zero Gravity
If you put some animals in space captivity
Not long before they're saying please come and live with me
Something about the feel of zero gravity
Makes the animals want protrusions within cavities
And then they say

Don't want to be greedy but
I need your sweet graffiti
Written on my eardrums
I want to conced-ey that
Oh yes indeed-y
You are my only endeared one

For example, take the rabbit
Always mulitplying as is his habit
I see no reason to conduct experiments
Might get in the way of future endearment
When they say

Don't want to be greedy but
I need your sweet graffiti
Written on my eardrums
I want to conced-ey that
Oh yes indeed-y
You are my only endeared one

So you see that at our command-a
We'll increase the population of the giant panda
So you folks that don't give us a hand-a
Are endangered species something you can't stand-a?

Because they're gonna say

Don't want to be greedy but
I need your sweet graffiti
Written on my eardrums
I want to conced-ey that
Oh yes indeed-y
You are my only endeared one
Track Name: Denouncing The Detractors
Fat lady on a bicycle, she's a commie pinko
Fat lady on a bicycle, what the fuck does she know
About the animals in our moon zoo
And how the animals don't need spacesuits

Science nerd with the spectacles, he's got no testicles
Science nerd with the spectacles, maybe a homosexual
He don't know anything about how the tides work
So who's he to judge any of my work

Old lady with the kitty-cats, a bunch of hippie crap
Old lady with the kitty-cats, why don't she take a bath
She don't know anything about what the pandas need
And how the animals are gonna space-breed

Zookeepers and biologists, a bunch of terrorists
Zookeepers and biologists, they don't believe in Jesus
They hate all of you and they hate apple pie
They want the world to blow and watch you all die
Track Name: 27 Reasons
Avoid world destruction
Fight the rising tides
Breed giant pandas
Stop future eclipses
Fistfuls of moon money
Guard against extinction
Safe haven when the world ends
Lunar power and glory
No one ever made a zoo

These are the reasons for the zoo!

Setting up a moon base
First to make a moon zoo
Terraform the moon
Prepare for zoos on Mars
Defense against the aliens
Because the beardo said so
Democratize the moon
Prove a geocentric universe
Get some green cheese

These are the reasons for the zoo!

Save money on space suits
Put the sun in the sky
Time to get revenge
Because zoos are cool
Put some zoos on Mercury
Prove we don't need space suits
Keep the moon from crashing into us
There's oil on the moon
Finish what Apollo started

These are the reasons for the zoo!
Track Name: Lunar Safari
Going on a lunar safari! And you know what? I'm not sorry!
Going on a lunar safari! Right now, not tomorrow!
Going on a lunar safari! Can't stop me from creating my reality!
Going on a lunar safari! So why don't you cry a single martian tear for me!

Ain't nobody gonna prove me wrong
Ain't no doubt about it
And it somebody gonna prove me wrong
Don't you know they're all lying anyway

Going on a lunar safari! I got ideals, my eyes are starry
Going on a lunar safari! You're coming too or you'll get scarry
Going on a lunar safari! You'll love it there, it'll be a party
Going on a lunar safari! I'm a tough guy, shut up smarty

Ain't nobody gonna prove me wrong
Ain't no doubt about it
And it somebody gonna prove me wrong
Don't you know they're all lying anyway
Track Name: Disaster On The Lander
The moment they left the lunar lander
The animals' skin began to expand-a
I don't understand-a
And who could have planned-a
And now I'll never get to breed my giant panda
Track Name: Animals In Space Don't Go To Heaven
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Animals in space don't go to heaven
Track Name: Victory! (A Fist Full Of Moon Money)
I got a fistful of moon money
And a pocket full of no regrets
We sent a zoo full of kangaroos and bunnies
On a rocket to the lunar threat

It's a victory, got a fistful of moon money
It's a victory, can't you see everything is gonna be ok!

And that's a pretty impressive accomplishment
Don't you scoff at it unless you want to see a panda cry
And can't you see here, there's a lunar atmosphere
So recant your fears, can't you hear me telling you why?

It's a victory, got a fistful of moon money
It's a victory, can't you see everything is gonna be ok!